Children

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Do you ever think how amazing a child could be?

They are little creature, yet They are so smart.

We’re praying to have them, We wish they exist in our lives, we take advantage of the joy they brought in this life, they give us the experience of no one will ever tell us.

Then when they grew up, we make them feel guilty for ever being born, for ever being chosen when it’s actually 100% our control.

We make them repay us. We make them as in we save them in this world.

When in fact, they are not.

They saved us. Not the other way around.

*This is the disclaimer.

I’m not literally a parent who gave birth.

So, this is an empathic and sympathy feeling I got from meeting, loving, watching my niece and nephews grow.

I do want to have a child on my own.

Oh no, it’s children. I want to have it lots. Because I think they bring joy. Don’t they?

But this is what I see:

People believe, children don’t lie.

Why do you think they don’t lie? Because they are not capable of making the scenario or they’re just so pure?

We believe they know nothing. We believe they tell you only the truth because they know only the truth.

But sorry, I don’t buy it.

They will lie if they want to. Because I think they are so crazily smart so they can lie. And if they don’t, it's only because they are so pure.

They are so smart; they understand everything from the zero. They even understand some things without asking. Just like us. Right?

We some other times understand things just by feeling it, just by seeing it.

They also do that.

They see you in pain.

They feel you.

They are so capable of anything if they want to.

But do you know what’s funny?

Adults, “mature people”, believe children don’t lie only when they speak on your behalf.

I repeat,

Children don’t lie and they are honest only when they speak on your behalf.

On our behalf.

If they speak what we want to hear.

Do you remember what we say if they speak what’s not on our behalf?

“that child is influenced”

Influence by the adults around them, by the other children around them, by the nanny who takes care of them, by the grannies, by the mommy side, by the dad side.

It’s never them.

If they say anything that we don’t want to hear.

We forget that they also have their heart on their own.

We forget that they have their brain on their own.

We forget it’s always about us.

And that’s so sad.

So sad. That I could cry hard if I think about it when I hug them.

I really want to say that I’m sorry.

I’m really sorry that this is the world I can offer to them.

Some of us growing up resenting our own parents.

And you remember what they throw at us?

“wait until you become the parent”

Then we grow old by doing the ‘mistake’ we thought it was wrong, back then when were a kid.

Irony.

And we whisper the spell “Oh, this is what it takes to be a parent”

Don’t get me wrong.

I do think that being a parent in any way is good and cool.

I know you have been so hard sleeping, working so late Mon to Fri then you should take your child to theme park on weekends. Read them story before bed. Going home early and cut the city from traffic so that you can have a kiss before they go to bed.

I never want to say any kind of way of parenting is wrong.

Because my mother ever said to me “there is no single parent want something bad for their children. We should believe that’s the best they could provide”

So, that’s how I believe.

You are right, Mama.

You are, Papa.

But to be fair, let me remind me of something.

We wished for that child. We read that verse so that God trusts us in some ways to be pregnant and bring that child to that world.

I know that parent should be appreciated for sacrificing everything in this world for their children. They choose the children.

But let me remind me, do they ever beg to us or let it be.. to you to be chosen?
I don’t know your case.

But in my life,

They don’t.

The good facility,

The good schools,

The expensive nanny,

It’s all us.

Our control, our sign.

It’s never invoices sent and that we pay.

To be so fair and friendly reminder to us, parents and soon to be parents,

The children are very heartbroken when you hear they say

“what have you done to me after all that I did to you?”

We hurt them.

It also hits me hard in the head when I remember that we, the adults, are wishing to have them, the kids because we want to stop the society of asking our fertility. We want to shut them up.

We often forget, that we instead should wish the next generation to fulfill a lack of knowledge to create a more sustainable living environment, to make peace in this world. If you capture bigger picture, you contribute to shaping how this world would turn out. You have the right of giving them the idea of this world because you are the first window of this world. They see this world as you see it.

They believe your world and your word.

They trust you with their future.

They sometimes let you choose, right?

We sometimes forget to tell them that we’re actually fucked up in this life, please make a change for this world behalf.

It’s never us helping them,

Or never us giving them hope.

It’s them, giving us help. It's them, giving us hope.

This narration should not become justification for children to have fire with the parents.

This is just a very fair reminder for us, the parents, to always count every head as a head.

We count their minds; we count their hearts.

We sometimes need to say sorry, we hurt them.

We cannot say that somebody is actually owing some things because we gave them voluntarily.

Remember “we become the parents because we choose to be one, they might be born as your child by forced” hahahaha

Who knows?

We don’t know what’s the deal to God that we actually got that particular child.

They might be going to some kind of fight with the angels that they dont want us to be their parents.

Because they think we’re just too poor for going to Los Angeles every weekend.

Hahahaha

Again, who knows?

But to be a heartwarming statement,

I ever get the knowledge that even pet choose their owner by heart.

Maybe So do your children.

They chose you because they trusted you.

I believe that parents never make it about money.

If it’s about money, you must be counting from the first beginning, right?

Then, If we don’t get the respect we wanted, then it’s on both of our hands.

You can always flip the story. You know the truth.

 Kuddos to all the parents!

J