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About love, being loved and loving.

Do you remember how hopeless love is? for the sake of our hearts, we sometimes lie.  we sometimes ignore the fact that we cannot handle this anymore and wanting to quit. We sometimes don't feel enough because we set a very abstract standard about how we want to be loved. We punish the person, for being responsible for our own expectations that might come from history, family,  and traumas. We have been trained our minds to love hard, to survive the battle, to fight, to be heartbroken but not to remember that everyone has their own battle too.  It's our way of loving as there is their own way of loving.  I read it somewhere that not even a single person owes you an explanation about how wrong you're doing them and how they finally give you time to let them go. you deserve to be happy as they deserve it too. they have been trying so hard to love you, and they failed. as you have tried to make yourself believe, and you failed. 
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Kids, Dont be different.

"Be the society you wish to live in" they said... But you know what to take when you have to live the society you wish to live in? it takes differences, it takes a hundred times of understanding, it takes a hundred times of shouting, it takes hundreds of doors being slammed, it takes we're being out of the breath of holding grudge or tears. If someday I have children, Now I'm afraid to see them grow differently. because of the fact that maybe I could afford to give them enough love and attention, I know the world couldn't even afford to ignore them. people shouting. people hating. people can't stand you. people really care about you all of sudden as if they feed you gold daily. I couldn't stand people take step to be hating my clan. I don't know why, it is never hard to see people talking, people stabbing, people hating on me. but if you put a word on something I'm protecting, it's like your whole world is making war to my world.
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Children

--> Do you ever think how amazing a child could be? They are little creature, yet They are so smart. We’re praying to have them, We wish they exist in our lives, we take advantage of the joy they brought in this life, they give us the experience of no one will ever tell us. Then when they grew up, we make them feel guilty for ever being born, for ever being chosen when it’s actually 100% our control. We make them repay us. We make them as in we save them in this world. When in fact, they are not. They saved us. Not the other way around. *This is the disclaimer. I’m not literally a parent who gave birth. So, this is an empathic and sympathy feeling I got from meeting, loving, watching my niece and nephews grow. I do want to have a child on my own. Oh no, it’s children. I want to have it lots. Because I think they bring joy. Don’t they? But this is what I see: People believe, children don’t lie. Why do you think they don’t lie? Because
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Why, Fan?

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Do you ever feel like you’re trapped in condition and commitment you never signed up for? Do you ever doing routine instead of something exciting every single day, and you don’t even know why you are there? Do you ever feel like have a half identity filled in even before you speak? I do. And that’s why I quitted. I’m a Muslim girl. At heart. At birth. Raised in a very perfect family, I could say -in an Islamic family also. I grew up understanding what is God, why is God. What is Jesus, what is Buddha. My Father was a theolog, I could say. He was preaching God, to all human kind in this world. LOL, No JK.. only to his students. But the thing that no one ever guessed, and wonder was; Both of my parents are very open to the idea of anything. My father is a Muslim, but he read the Bible. The thing that we remember about our father (We: Avesena the siblings), Islam is the peace. We create and generate peace. If you don’t feel so, you are doing it
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