a story about:

She remembers the night you kissed her. She remembers the bitter of your cigar on that lip. She remembers how you make her closed her eyes. She remembers the way you smile in the middle of the kiss. She loves you for something you have stolen.  She hates you because you run away after that smirk. “hey’..? Ps.  She stopped the story and didn’t say anything about you pushed her against the wall.

And suddenly I miss people in my life. whether I just met them today or not today. at this point, I miss you all. if you can hear my whisper... c a l l  m e.

Today, No. Exactly 2 days ago. I have applied my expensive dream, with a lot of hopes yet resignations. On the day that I assigned to apply that dream, I was thinking about ‘okay, just apply and give God the rest of your work’. But as I get closer to that dream, I’m feeling afraid that I cant handle my disappointments IF.. if it didn’t come true. If everything didn’t work out I’m afraid if I was ready and everything was not. I’m afraid I can’t handle my fear to try again. I’m afraid that I will give up on life. But yea, I tried, at least. Everyone will say that I am exaggerating with this dream. But its okay, because you don’t know how to keep the dream deeply silent since long ago. Arguing with your condition. Conflicting with the family, and being able to stand again after long hiatus.   A week before I apply, and say that to my mom and she again said that she’s not that ready to ‘accompany’ my journey all the way overseas. I always cry in silence every