a story about:

Dear my friend, I wanna tell you about one thing in life. “ you can hate everyone you want to hate without any reasons but be real” you can say you hate people and then walk away, or dont say anything then walk away. Hating people is fine, baby. You hate people because they aint same as you, or they dont get you, you dont get them, you dont like their lover, dont like their clothes, the way they move, they way they talk and split a single word. That is totally okay, And fine And normal. What makes you bad are.. You hate people, and you PRETEND to be not. You hate people, and you talking shits EVEN SPREADING shits. What makes you bad are.. You are keeping someone you hate. You say you love them And you say you want them to stay. What makes you bad is, You are making friends with someone you hate. Hating people is normal, making rival not. You can hate me, thats okay.

Semakin banyak senja yang kulalui setiap hari Semakin sadar aku dari lamunan Lamunan tentang kesedihan setiap harinya.  Ada kesedihan yang tidak akan  berakhir Ada kesedihan yang mengakar Dan ada kesedihan yang diam. Semua berakhir pada terlupakan Bukan berhenti untuk penyelesaian.

Do you ever feel so scared? Scared to believe again Scared to start over again Scared to look up and see how many stars you have right now Scared to end everything because you again scared to regret Scared to the destiny that out of plan Scared to dark Scared to height Scared to loose someone Scared to ghost Im scared and I count my scare from one to ten I have my 'Ten', Im saving my ten. Eventho I know, there is someone I could rely on w hen the  'Ten'  is facing. Eventho I know, there is someone that will always smile at me and say everything would be okay at a moment. There is someone that will look up at me; remember me from the lowest to the highest; someone that space me for good; someone that spare her time for me; someone that know my phobia; someone that leave me on my happy moment and always there; someone to hold on; someone to hug with; I have my  'Ten'  and the killer I have my  'Ten'  to relief I hav...

Less than a month ago, I had my birthday. Im not a big fan of having a birthday, because it is non-sense. Year by year, I was being so denial for not waiting on birthday greetings. And this year, I got the reason why people would be so happy over ‘happy birthday’ greetings. Because it means, we are making time for them. Because it means you have somebody to lean on, on they day after. Because this age should be something for them too I was so glad that no one is here, but my bestfriends. You know? There is someone who will fly back to her uni on Sunday and she made time to meet me on Sat. All she got was “meeting Fani, for her birthday” It was so awesome. That feeling was so crazy. I am so glad that I’m here, today. Become a 19 girl, with goals. Having everything that every older people have. Having a phone call with bank. Got an appointment for my dentist by myself Queuing an insurance application. Pay the tax bills. And so on. Im glad...

On a one fine evening You ever told me about how love works On us How strong we were How fine we are now How happy we will be Love selling happiness, You said that day. And I thought you are the one Whose selling happiness Because no matter what will happen Rather it is love or lust I will be happy if its you Another one fine evening You told me that you love So much That much until it hurts you Too much until it bleeds As much as my jealousy bothers you As much as you want me to shut Another one fine day You left because it’s just fine being alone You left because we are so fine. You left bringing the reason you are coming. And another evening become fine again, With me scared of being in love. With this little secret about ever loved and left on a fine evening