a story about:

Less than a month ago, I had my birthday. Im not a big fan of having a birthday, because it is non-sense. Year by year, I was being so denial for not waiting on birthday greetings. And this year, I got the reason why people would be so happy over ‘happy birthday’ greetings. Because it means, we are making time for them. Because it means you have somebody to lean on, on they day after. Because this age should be something for them too I was so glad that no one is here, but my bestfriends. You know? There is someone who will fly back to her uni on Sunday and she made time to meet me on Sat. All she got was “meeting Fani, for her birthday” It was so awesome. That feeling was so crazy. I am so glad that I’m here, today. Become a 19 girl, with goals. Having everything that every older people have. Having a phone call with bank. Got an appointment for my dentist by myself Queuing an insurance application. Pay the tax bills. And so on. Im glad...

On a one fine evening You ever told me about how love works On us How strong we were How fine we are now How happy we will be Love selling happiness, You said that day. And I thought you are the one Whose selling happiness Because no matter what will happen Rather it is love or lust I will be happy if its you Another one fine evening You told me that you love So much That much until it hurts you Too much until it bleeds As much as my jealousy bothers you As much as you want me to shut Another one fine day You left because it’s just fine being alone You left because we are so fine. You left bringing the reason you are coming. And another evening become fine again, With me scared of being in love. With this little secret about ever loved and left on a fine evening

There are plenty fish in the sea, they say But you know, the only fish that I want is one I don’t like fish Except that fish I don’t believe in fish but that fish I never try any fish unless that fish Fish that pray to the cross and me pray to the stone Fish that couldn’t see widely and me can’t have tiny sight Fish that believe and I don’t Fish who tries and Im afraid Fish that love and I doubt Its okay to have storm Everybody says storm will pass But, how about the after effect? How about the houses that broke? How about the fear? How about the trust? Yea, people.. Storm will pass but not the story.

I miss you… You know how it feels? I’m missing you till this heart shakes. My body shakes. I miss you, You know how it hurts? Its like your breath break your rib one by one I miss you So I count to the tears that fell So I count to the night to change So I repeat song that sings us No sleepy feeling worth our chat No tomorrow’s schedule that waits No light could break the horizon I miss you. I miss you Like nothing in this world worth my eyes And by the way, from 1 to 5, how much I miss you is 2 and already dying. 

One day you will wake up on the afternoon and realized you wasted lots of time after planning for good things. Today, I watched Paper Towns Movie . Right after my lecturer asked me about what Im doing right now in this life. And out of nowhere I assumed that I knew what im doing right now, when in fact I don’t. “ …………..“ Those were things I knew in life which were my comfort zones. “ …………………………………………………………………………………………….” and those were piece of real life where my dreams live. Sometimes we should make a paper town for a paper girl Because people just wanna see us the way they wanna see. Because we just trying to be what society want over what we really want. Don’t you want to run away? Don’t you want to cry when all your dream life was only in a movie? Don’t you want to make a blink for your problems? Don’t you want to have a date with your bias? You want them, yes. But only in your sleep You fight for it. But only for the pride ...