a story about:

Today, Dec 24th 2016 Around at 9.15am in Milan With 3degree C . I saw a girl in the train looked at me just to spread her smile. Im so touched how she could be really kind hearted. Why not every parent teach our children to that kind of human being. Whether her parents ever told her about giving smile to stranger, or she initiated her self. Its still good, kindness wouldn't happen so sudden. Because I ever experienced being blamed by the parents just because I started a talk with her baby girl. She became so angry, even I didnt touch her baby girl. After that, Im so careful even to smile to children. Parents build their children to be like everything they wished or they wanted. Even with names they put on their children. I really hope that I could be the parents who can taught my children about giving smile to strangers. Because smile means acceptance, smile means kindness. Because maybe my children wouldnt be able to give anything but kindness around this cruel world. This...

Its Dec 20th at 16:39 in Amsterdam from 3rd floor of Primark in Damark st, 0 degree outside.   And from where I sit Im glad and grateful for what I saw this year, for being in every dream city of everyone. Being able to travel before anyone I know. Seeing how beauty this world could show, and prove how nice this place could be.   This should be a blast from the past, no matter what you are having now: its fine for feeling everything you are feeling right now.   Im in Amsterdam when Im missing my home deathly.  

Its 4.41 am in Lille.   Im in the bus going to Amsterdam, going with Soo Ji, Yunha, and Yoshua.   We spread because the bus is so shitty, they dont have seats for us sitting together. The smell of the bus is like a bear cage, I dont know how many days they stayed at the bus and where they started to travel with the bus. The bus is like holding people's poo. Im chatting with Yoshua now because someone on his side is also smells bad.  Its going to be my blast from the past and this would be my moment of laugh.  

You are not bitter anymore. ur sweet yet sour. you can feel it, no? now you know whether is it love that lingers or the guilty that haunts. you can tell, now? whether you want it or not. You are not my tea anymore. you are the milk. you dont have the caffeine. but now, you're healthy. you're keeping the beating. you're keeping the feeling.

Lille, December 3rd 2016. Today is Saturday at 12.25 and Im just woke up at this moment, outside weather is stuck in 2 degree. I dont have nothing on the plan list besides riding Ferish-wheel on the night, later. If future me reading this, remember that you sent virtual hugs to the people you meet today in home. you are missing them to death now. you are missing how they can hug you until you couldn't even feel the pain ur having at work. you are missing them until you cried over night on this last days. This is would be the postcard from the past. Im missing home from A to D.

I cant decide whether I like it or not,  to be able to travel but not being able to unpack in every city.  kinda sucks, but Im feeling like in rush. 

"Do you have a relationship advice from your mother that you always remember?" Mine is when I have my heart break in high school, my mom said that "Im surrounded by the perfect people to date with. and she said, every kind of relationship is about trust. once you have trust issue, please leave." I remember that advice every single time I hear someone's telling stories about their partners, every time I started a new one. and also that made me ended my current relationship at the time. but as I grow older, I never see my mom leave. I thought everyone would agree with the advice. yea maybe they agreed, but they cover the pains. maybe they agreed but they stayed.

I know its crazy to believe someone who said Paris is not good. You will start to wonder that because I was living too close. Paris isnt my dream. I just dont fill up the beat. I dont know how to enjoy life. I dont know how to be thankful. I accept that. Yea, Paris isnt my dream or maybe I just dont know how to fill up the beat. But, Living and be in Paris aint that easy and more complicated than that. Paris is under your expectation, and being under expectation is hard. Paris doesnt have anything that people wanted. Paris just unconditionally loved by people who have everything already. You cant just come and loving things you didnt sow. Paris with 13 lines of metro wouldnt make you love it. Paris with stairs everywhere wouldnt make you stay. Paris with 'complaining drivers' wouldnt make you satisfied. Paris with no smile and with the garbage all over the street wouldnt even make you understand why people wanting to go back. I am living in peaceful and safe...

Today I realized something, Not everything gets easier, But we get stronger day by day. We need to think about that just because we need to appreciate things in life. We learned, we understood things, we are leaving the pain behind The bitter of vegies I don’t like before now the taste I can chew The cold in Europe that I never imagined before now is the situation I live in well.  Yea I know, self. You get used to everything. You did a lot of great job. Merci beaucoup

To the broken-hearted girl, You may not know that this world has a lot of happiness you have forgotten. This world would treat you better than your lover. This world has something to tell behind everything happened To the broken-hearted girl, Don’t zooming your world onto one object. You may see everything clear when you’re lil bit away. You seem so weak with the tears in fact you’re not. To the broken-hearted girl, Its okay to be broken. There will always scars to your beautiful Because when you got another wound You deserve another bound.

I spent most of hours hugging and kissing. I spent most of days complementing and being complimented. I spent most of days thinking what can I do for everyone. I spent most of the months planning holiday with someone. and now Im turning the face. doing all the things in vice versa. spending hours to hate. complementing someone who's worth to. thinking what people can do for me. secretly planning and wishing that I will have my solo holiday. Pathetic, yes. but they dont care, they say. why should I?